Never Said, Never Whispered
by Phoenix Sworn
Summary: One Shot. In the final stand for the lives of the people of Rohan, the love of two men is tested. Unusual pairing. Warning: SLASH


Warning, this is slash, aka guys in love with each other if you don't understand the word 'slash'. Nothing is too bad, but I am warning you now, and I don't want to do it again. Only other disclaimer falls to the fact that I don't own this story's basis or the world it takes place in. That belongs partially to Tolkein and partly to Peter Jackson if the idea is not present in the books.

***

Never Said, Never Whispered

***

"Stay safe, Jaesef." Eolund whispered when they embraced. Even through the layers of chain and leather he could feel the pounding heart of the man he loved. A horn rang in the keep. Jaesef pulled away and nodded before walking up a stair to the wall. Both Lord Aragorn and their king were atop it, and Jaesef had been placed with them. Despite pleading and several bribes, Eolund was stationed over the gate, mostly with the young boys and old men. He was only twenty-one himself, but had trained for years.

He had been placed there to help those who did not understand war. 

No matter what the commanders said about he and Jaesef, they were both very good in every form of battle, something in short supply.

Helm's Deep was pounded by rain. Lightning cracked through the air, with rolls of thunder echoing through the walls and caves almost at the same time. He adjusted the grip he had on the flap, and glanced out. Another flash showed him the advancing army. 

Ten thousand strong if not more. Armed to the teeth. Angry. Trained. And blood-thirsty. 

Eolund swallowed trying not to think about the fate awaiting both he and Jaesef, and knowing that they probably would not see the other alive again.

***

Eolund moved cautiously, not sure if he had lost his sanity in training. Jaesef's rich blonde hair rolled in the wind, and his pale green eyes whispered secrets and passion. Running a bare hand over his friend's cheek, he could see the passion increase to a fire, and knew that if he had gone crazy at least he wasn't alone. 

His own hair fell out of the tie and whipped across his face in the strong winds of Edoras. They were both young, eighteen and seventeen, Jaesef the younger, but somehow, it did not matter to them. The understanding was complete, and there was no argument to be put against certainty. For several minutes they merely stood on the hilltop, dressed in the loose clothing, that was suited for nothing but training, and enjoyed the miraculous rush received by a shared touch. 

Jaesef's skin was tender from exercising, but the metal clasps on his shirt shocked through Eolund's fingers. Finally their gaze grew too heated to contain any longer, and both moved simultaneously. 

Their lips met and the heat rushed together, threatening to drown them both. 

***

Dropping another barrage of rocks onto the advancing Uruk-hai, Eolund turned to see the ladders on the wall. The night was too dark to see, but somewhere in the bloodbath was Jaesef, and the thought ripped his heart. 

***

The kiss lasted for a blissful eternity. Their breath mingled and their near-virgin tongues learned what it was to experience euphoria. Their now sweating bodies were braced together, moving as a singular force, and nothing could stop the joy that they felt. Hands moved up and down backs, massaging necks, taunting faces, and teasing hair. Pulling their mouths apart only long enough to gasp air, they would return to their heaven and knew that they did not have to fear each other, or life either, so long as the other was there with them. 

It did not go further that day, as a series of chimes and shouts brought them back to reality, but the memory warmed their hearts across the compound and let them remember what living was.

***

Eolund saw more than heard the blast that destroyed the wall. He had glanced over once more to check on his love, but a torch-bearing Uruk distracted his eye. The blast knocked him backwards, and he jumped up a breath before the boulder fell in his former place. Screams of Rohan rent the air, and Uruk cheers despaired the men around him. He knew that it was happening, but could do nothing to help them. 

Jaesef had been standing only a dozen yards from the blast point, and now Eolund could not see any of his group. 

He jumped over a fallen man, and beat his way down the stairs. In any other battle, at any other time, he would have been killed for abandoning his post, but it no longer mattered. 

Jaesef had been standing there. 

His sword was out of its sheath and cut his way to there. He ignored anything that was not immediately in his way. Even a glancing blow could not land upon him; he was so determined to reach his goal. 

Lord Aragorn mustered the elves and men behind the wall seconds before Eolund passed through. A sea of death swept over him and he was forced to delay by killing a pair of nightmares. As he broke to the opposite side, he saw a single man, thinner than most, but stronger than he looked, fighting a massive Uruk. 

"Jaesef!" He screamed and ran over to help in the fight.

***

They had experienced years of taunting for being unmarried and uninvolved with women, but their skill with a sword silenced most of the fools. Their secret was kept throughout their training and both were made members of the same riding in Edoras. Almost a year passed before they kissed a second time. The memory of the first still remained with them, and was still just as passionate as the instant it happened. 

There had been no need for a second. 

Finally, after both had been made members of a riding, Eolund had made his decision, and they discovered that the first kiss was a miracle, but that the second one perfect, in every single aspect. 

They lived in love, never actually saying the words aloud, but knowing them in their souls. That was all they needed. 

They defended each other. They protected each other. 

The world was harsh, but they had found a way to sustain a softer edge, yet still, they had never spoken the words aloud.  

***

The Uruk fell, bleeding blackly from the stomach and the two men embraced more tightly than they ever had before. Jaesef was muttering under his breath about abandoning posts, and harsh punishments, but the thoughts still didn't permeate through Eolund's mind. 

'He's alive. Thank you, he's alive. That's all that matters.' His thoughts whispered. 

Tears threatened to fall, and he bit them back. Still the screams circulated, and the battle continued, but for a few minutes they were separate from it. Uruk, Men and Elves alike skirted around the pair. The mail was uncomfortable, but their pulses could still be felt through it all. 

Love stronger than that of their first kiss on that quiet hilltop began to grow, and Eolund saw Jaesef open his mouth to say what they had never said before. 

He was nervous for a breath, but knew that everything would be fine. After all, they were together, and so he was safe. Jaesef smiled; it was beautiful. His eyes sparkled with a flash of lightning, and as the thunder rolled, Jaesef gasped in pain and terror. 

"Jaesef?" Eolund whispered. 

He garbled something indistinct. The fell to the ground and Jaesef's head was sitting in Eolund's lap. The orc who had done it laughed before falling backwards, dead in truth. 

"Jaesef, it's alright. You'll be fine. Shh, don't worry. It will all be fine." 

"No, wait. No. No, I won't Eo." The words were strained but still rang with a stunning beauty in his ears. "I won't be fine. I'm sorry. Eo, Eo, I never said…I was afraid to…I never…I, l- I lo- I lov-" His voice disappeared and his body fell limp, eyes dropping closed. 

Eolund held onto him, grief too deep to cry, to move, to think. All that existed in his mind was that it was over. Life, love, joy; it was over. It couldn't be saved. Jaesef was dead. 

Very slowly, he bent his head downward and kissed him tenderly. His lips were already cooling. Rain dropped silently onto his head, over his shoulder, into his armor. Battles, skirmishes, fights were being waged, and all of it in a muted, distant way. 

"Jaesef, I never said it either. I lo-" His own voice cut off, as steel slipped over his mail, down the shirt, and split his back through to the heart. The light faded instantly. The Uruk's laughs echoed hollowly in the world. Pain never touched his mind as he fell backwards to die. 

The final thought in his mind whispered that he had never said the most important thing. Blackness absorbed him, he was gone, gone into nothingness, and he had never gotten to say the only thing he ever wanted to.

They never said it, but they had always known it.       

***


End file.
